Taylor Swift in Love Story

I just can't get this song out of my mind. Another masterpiece by Taylor Swift, do check out the music video, it's like Cinderella.

People know, falling in love will guarantee you some heartbreaks, and some even abstain from it. I know how this feels. To be in love, yet still feeling so wrong about it. I told myself it was a mistake. A beautiful mistake, to have fallen in love with him. Knowing very clearly myself that he's not the least interested, why let myself fall deeper?

I miss the times when I texted him, and his replies were funny, humorous, and I can sense that he replied with his heart, not like some guys who just entertains you with a "haha" or "oh I see". We could talked late into nights, about everything. Kul Prit, schoolwork, and topics rated NC16. He would always know when I'm getting high, and he doesn't shun me. He's appreciative, and he treated people with his heart and soul. We did not have lengthy smses, but our contents were cheerful, happy, motivating. He was never rude, and always showed that sense of care for me, or at least. We laughed together on the phone, conversed in our dialect, talked about our lives. Everything was going fine. It was beautiful.

And yet I told him how I've always felt about him. And after days I got an answer. Friends encouraged me and told me he would feel the same towards me. I dare not bear high hopes, in fear of a great disappointment. I was right. I wasn't the right one for him. Maybe telling him how I felt was a relief for me, but not for him. I may have added to his burden, I do not know. He may still miss his ex-girlfriend, the pretty one. Who am I? I'm just some typical girl in hope to possess a small space in your heart and a little time in your thoughts.

But I was a nobody in your life.

You used to show me care and concern, even though it was only a period of a few weeks we took to develop our feelings. My feelings for you have grown, and sprouted. It would take a severe drought to kill it, for floods coming from my eyes kept it moist.

You talk to me so coldly now. I'm not used to it yet, but I'll have to. Your replies are filled with your normal I-don't-care tone. I can't feel the old you anymore. The one who would insist that I must sleep early, the one who asked me if Kul Prit did anything to me in class, the one who accompanied me for a 2-hour long chat on the phone into 3am and doesn't mind, the one who would ask if I'm tired and why I hadn't sleep when I worry the same for you as well. No longer.

It might all have been just a wishful part of my thinking, my own dwelling fantasy. The things my friends told me, about the way you looked at me, when you offered me a drink when I was feeling nauseous, when you murmured to offer to carry my books for me when I complained that my bag was heavy, when you said yes to going to the library with me despite only the two of us, when you asked me why I didn't want to eat and told me I should, when you teached me math. They were just, imagination. 这一切都是我想太多了.

I never wanted to force you into a relationship. I just want to know that you like me too, just like how much I like you. I guess I was wrong. So utterly wrong. Your feelings for me were nothing but for a mere friend, weren't they?

But I will wait for you. Even if the fact that promoting up to JC/Poly would mean a much bigger obstacle to possess your heart, I will try my best, for the fact that my feelings for you are genuine.

I just miss the times we had, so much.

It was a beautiful mistake, so beautiful that I hope it would err on for a long time. I may be childish to hope you'll even like me. But please, give me a chance to let me appreciate you, better than she can do. Yes, I'm not as pretty, I don't have a good figure, I have bad skin, and compared to her I'm less intellectually talented. I may never be good enough for you. But I love you so.

And yet, those times will never be back, will they? I can't call you just to hear your voice anymore, you'll find me absurd to call you without a purpose. I can't find any reason to sms you, and when I do, your replies are as if you're offended, or irritated. I am sorry for being such a nuisance to you, and I promise I'll not bother you again.

Perhaps by then, you'd have already found the girl of your dreams, and I, would have already slipped out of your blissful life, unknowingly. No one cares anyway.

But, for just one last time,

I miss you.

After our 'outing'.