Went to Vivocity with Herwen and Jooping today. Had a great time, thanks girls! :D
After hving lunch at LJS we walked around and settled down and the grand stand area or whatever you call that. First thing that caught our eye was this couple at the very top showing extremely hardcore PDA. It was a pretty good show for all to see HAHAHA as a audience I certainly enjoyed it LOL.
Anyw slacked there and talked, more like bitching around some issues and people in school WOOO had a great time. And sadly cause I've to be home before 5:30PM so we left Vivo at around 4:15 and trained home.

We didn't make her cry. I swear.

Can fight with those angmohs alr

So I'm now blogging away, its been so long since I blogged regularly actually...

I made a promise to my girls that I'll ask that question again on Prom. Sometimes its just not as easy as it seems, I've said it once and it was a setback; its hard to remain undeterred by disappointment and all. I won't say I miss you cause I bet you're sick of it already, I myself am too.

Sick of missing you, sick of this whole damn thing.

Today was the last day of my MYE and I hve no school until Thursday WOOOOOOOOOO
All those who still hve Physics, DNT and Biology TOO BAD ONLY ONE FREE DAY WE'VE GOT THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE lol ok shall stop being a bitch.

I was reading my older posts like really historic ones and omg I was such a desporado for some things that it looked as if I was a hooker in need of some hardcore sex or smth HAHAHA what kinda depiction is this. Anyw I'm not being embarrassed by what I wrote and how I felt in the past cause this is all part of my growing up. As time goes we'll look back and actually realized how much we've matured and all. :)

Alright now some issues at home no longer regarding mommy but that fucking maid who shouted at me the other day. Ok fine I admit she's not obliged to serve me cause my mom and I just came into this 'family' some years ago and we did not pay her to do chores for us but wait a minute. How can maids shout at... well, I dunno. Ok the situation went like that, my bro came into my room to borrow my phone charger and the plug was behind the door. Just coincidently she came upstairs and asked for him so I lied frivolously that I dunno where he went and he might hve went out so I'll tell her where he went after I called him later. Then my bro went downstairs and told her he was just behind my door and we lied to her for fun blahblahblah and I went down to the kitchen across the living room and she suddenly stomped towards me shouting, "Why you lie to me saying he went out!? He was in your room right!? Next time don't lie to me, I don't like!"
HAHAHAHA F YOU BITCH you dont like so what? Ok what I say might be going to initiate a human rights controversy but who cares! She pissed me off, and that's that.
She sounded like she's the head of the family. Oh puhleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, you're just a maid and you hve no rights to say whether you like smth or not cause you're hired to do chores so shut the fuck up and get back to work! Don't think just because you've been with their family for more than 12years mean you hve the authority to control us. I've been putting up with all your shoutings at the brothers, your damn laziness, everytime only know how to stay in the room and watch TV and guess what people: She even calls the brothers to keep the dishes for her and the younger brother to massage her back! OMG what kinda maid is this. And she shrinks in the presence of my stepdad. What a chicken. Ok maybe she watched them grow up and mommy's been speaking up for her saying that she's old (Damn she's 40plus and still a maid) and she has her own kids back in Philippines that's why she's such a control freak over the children but hey, you didnt watch me grow up so what the fuck do you understand about me? I don't need you to hve the slightest idea of what's on my mind anyw because it's of no use anyw.
Just found it really absurd how a maid can be so insolent. Nb.
Go back Philippines la, HAHAHA.

Oh my God I sounded like a bitch. My, that's bad. Sorry people but I'm just really pumped up with angst. And even my stepbro is pissed off with me. Great, just what I need in these times. THANK YOU. -.-

Ok people I know my blog is so fucking dead but who cares if nobody visits my blog? I read it myself then, lol so lonerzxzzzxzzzzxxzz.

Went out with Jooping and Herwen and omg I found my new gossip-crapola mates! Wooooooo this is gonna be fun. Went to LaiLai at Jurong Point to have our brunch and walked around JP, crapping and had so much fun. Made a date on Tuesday to hit the town looking our best. Gonna spam eyeliner hadnt touch it for so fking long man I miss my blue-black eyes HAHAHA

Also made a date with that fucker on wednesday, not disclosing where HA! Die also must go but hope it doesnt rain PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE if not it'll be so damn sad :(

And sometimes I wonder why I turn so vulgar in front of some of my friends, lol. So unglam, hope he doesnt have the chance to see it until we get married (just a note to signify that it'll never happen. Or will it? If it will then I WANT IT MAN!) HAHAHA so despo. Shrugs.


Hey, to you out there.
I know you know that I miss you so much but I know that you dont care and I've been trying so hard to forget you but it doesnt work a fucking little bit! And you know it's kinda frustrating to have your image popping in my mind like a faulty VCD player when I'm trying to do smth else more constructive than missing you when you dont even know, less to say do so too! I don't give a shit about 'I love you forever honey' (there's no forever so WAKE UP FROM YOUR DUMB DREAM AND GET PRAGMATIC PEOPLE) and 'If you love a person, seeling him/her happy will be enough and it's not necessary to possess him/her' --- OK I think that's seriously bullshit. If you love a girl/guy then go for it, what are you waiting for, Judgement Day? Sheesh, what are you people thinking! Ok fine I confessed to you and you avoiding me is the fruit I got for my 'valour' but nvm, things dont always go your way doesnt it? I dont know if youre reading this but I'm sick and tired of missing you all the time and going all nostalgic for our moments spent together. Forget them maybe, but they're too sweet and precious.
Oh damn it.
This is pissing me off big time.

有时候真的觉得, 当初为何要开始, 搞到现在这么难堪, 这么矛盾.
想念是一回事, 想拥有又是另一回事.
目前我没抱这任何希望, 只想每天看见你的一笑, 已让我心满意足.

我不是在报怨,报怨为什么原本完好无缺的一份感情, 会轮落到这种地步.
出了什么事? 我也不知道.
只记得我们起初的亲密, 都在一瞬间消失了.
我们也渐渐地疏远了.

想回到那段美好时光?
我想啊.
但... 可能吗?

It has been a long, long time... I've been so busy, or rather sometimes I just chose to ignore my urge to blog as I was really lazy.

So many things had happened, and I don't think I have the memory to account for each and every one of them.

You know, sometimes I wonder why I've changed so much, as if I hadn't realized. I've changed to become so... critical. So mean, so selfish, so realistic, yet at the same time this day-dream part of me still remains. At times I curse and swear, at times I became so judgmental, at times I hate what people's doing when it doesn't even concerns me, and yet during these times I still wish some part of me belonged to... someone.

It's not easy to juggle all these at one go when I don't even know where did all these emotion surges come from. People around me, I know clearly they aren't the ones that's experiencing this... mutation of the mind, how you think and all. I am aware that I wasn't like that in the past. I wasn't the one who would hate someone so easily, who would say you're a bitch right in your damn face because I don't give a fucking damn for your feelings. I used to be able to put myself in the shoes of one else, what has happened to me now?

I used to think friends were my everything. They were, in fact, since I was in primary school. I had nothing, no brains, no looks, no figure, just plenty of friends. I was sociable, friendly, and I used to be the one who could tell at a single glance who's being left out in a clique. And now, I'm the one who's waiting for that another 'me' to appear.

I don't mind being the odd one out, sometimes I actually enjoy those moments of solitary. The fact that there's nobody to talk to, that don't bother me. I'm used to it. It isn't such a sad issue afterall, to think I'm already in my last year in secondary school. I don't hve to bother actually. All I have to do now is focus on my exams, get good grades, and mould my own future. Who's to interfere, who's to decide, but myself?



Yet, this part of me still misses you badly. Misses every bit we've spent together, those were the times. Yeah, those. They've drifted far, far away. To where, I dunno. Oblivion perhaps?



This blog can't be counted as one that records my most truthful feelings, although I wished it was, as there are certains things too sensitive to be mentioned. I'd love to, but I can't. The fact that I've always treated this blog as my confidante made me feel so guilty of retaining any congitations from her, although she's not even human. At least she knows how to... listen, which is something I've also realized that very few people can do.

Why do I have to be so fucking sensitive towards every single thing around me?
Damn.

YAW PEOPLE I am so sorry for not updating. To be honest I miss blogging so much but I really hve no time. I am so so sorry and I'm now rushing the CME Project with Wenny so no time to waste, cya real soon I promise!

I'll be going to Malaysia from Friday to Sunday so I'll be back soon Blogger! I missed you! :)