They may seize
On the white wonder of Juliet's hand
And steal immortal blessing from her lips,
Who, even in pure and vestal modesty,
Still blush, as thinking their own kisses sin.

- Romeo envies the flies that can visit Juliet, when he cannot.

***

You read this blog, and you texted me, explaining certain things.

It made me look like I was desperate to have a boyfriend, but I wasn't.

Well, perhaps really desperate to have someone who loves me and I do him, but yeah. Fuck, I sound like a desperate bitch? Sheesh man.

I just wanted to know if you like me too, nothing else.

I wanted to much to ask you, yet the fear of irritating you held me back. I'm not sorry for my plight, but just sorry what I've done to sabotage the used-to-be-kinda-close relationship between us.

However, I seriously doubt if you feel the same as well. Maybe all these time I claimed how close we were, you never even thought serious of them. O, how shameful would it be of me to make these claims!

That was not said sarcastically, but truthfully.

I miss you.

***

Spent the afternoon with SJM and Jiawen. We ate the HongKong-based café on the 3rd Floor of IMM. It was such an enjoyable brunch, with Jiawen having ate a scallop that still had sand in it (it was suppose to be mine but he offered the first serving to me), but overall the food was good. I had the same order as Jiawen (I chose the dish for him yaw!), and SJM had minced meat noodle. We talked and talked as usual, and after lunch we went to Kopitiam to have dessert? Haha. O, the memories at that hawker centre, still so vividly, when you sat in front of me, eating...

We parted our ways, with Jiawen leaving for some I-don't-know place and SJM took a train with me to Toa Payoh! I was touched. She said, "Two people emo together better than one person emo on herself." Ah. It was an approximately 45 minutes trip and she took it there and back. Thank you so much, SJM. :)

Met up with Prime at Toa Payoh Library. He studied and I didn't bring my laptop along, so I went to look for books on William Shakespeare. I realized many of his works are heavily edited and altered to make easy for reading. Some are even compiled into a play-like structure. Wtf? You might as well have put your own name as the author of the book, people. Anyway, we left the library at around half past 5 and made our way home. Prime sent me home and we took Bus 143. My, the bus ride was over an hour. We started the journey when the sun was still out, and reached JE when the sky has turned dark. It was a pleasant journey with him anyway. :)

Weary-eyed.

GO WATCH 'PAINTED SKIN 画皮' YALL! It's a really nice movie. Adapted from one of the series in 聊斋志异, it's more about love rather than horror. Zhou Xun was strikingly gorgeous in this film, and she turned out to be not so bitch in the end. Eventually, true love prevails all imperfections and obstacles.

***

I read Serli's blog and came to know this song by Mariah Carey. It's lyrics are meaningful, here it is. Do go to Imeem and check out the song. And somehow I feel a connection towards this song, although we didn't even started a thing together. O well...

Mariah Carey - I Stay In Love

Baby, I stay in love with you

Dying inside cause I can't stand it
Make up break up can't take this madness

We don't even really know why

All I know is baby

I try and try so hard to keep our love alive

If you dont' know me at this point then I highly doubt you ever will

really need you to give me that unconditional love I used to feel

It's a mistake if we just erase it

From our hearts and minds

I know

We said let it go

but I kept on hangin' on

Inside I know

it's over you're really gone

It's killing me cause there ain't nothing that I can do

Baby I stay in love with you

And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around

And I try to front like 'Oh well' each time you let me down

See I can't get over you now,

no matter what I do

Baby baby, I stay in love with you

It cuts so deep it hurts down to my soul

My friends tell me I ain't the same no more

We still need each other

When we stumble and fall

how we gon' act like what we had ain't nothing at all now

Hey, what I wanna do is ride shotgun next to you

With the top down like we used to

Hit the block proud in the SU

We both know our heart is breakin'

Can we learn from our mistakes

I can't last one moment alone,

although I know

We said let go

but I kept on hangin' on

Inside I know

it's over you're really gone

It's killing me cause there ain't nothing that I can do

Baby baby, I stay in love with you

And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around

And I try to front like "Oh well" each time you let me down

See I can't get over you now no matter what I do

Baby baby, I stay in love with you

We said let go

but I kept on hangin' on

Inside I know

it's over you're really gone

It's killing me cause there ain't nothing that I can do

Baby baby, I stay in love with you

And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around

And I try to front like "Oh well" each time you let me down

See I can't get over you now no matter what I do

Baby baby, I stay in love with you

We said let go

but I kept on hangin' on

Inside I know

it's over you're really gone

It's killing me cause there ain't nothing that I can do

Baby baby, I stay in love with you

And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around

And I try to front like "Oh well" each time you let me down

See I can't get over you now no matter what I do

Baby baby, I stay in love with you.